Saturday, January 12, 2008

Aidan's Winter Program

I just posted a new video on The Martin Family Podcast showing Aidan's Winter Program at the Montessori School of Downtown. Thanks to dad (Kim Martin) for videotaping the program, and thanks to mom (Mary Lou) for the above picture. If you haven't seen my podcast, it's primarily short videos of the kids that I make with iMovie 06. If you like my kids, you should love it.

You can view the podcast at the following locations:

  1. iTunes (subscribe to the podcast here too)
  2. YouTube
  3. Download directly
(iTunes and/or Quicktime required for numbers 1 and 3.)

Tuesday, January 01, 2008

My Humanity, My Frustration, My Sin

Sometimes I absolutely hate the fallacies of the human species. I am not referring the stupid things that other people do that irritate us, nor am I referring only to the big things that others do that hurt us or cause us great distress or sorrow. I am referring to the things that I myself do that I despise. Sometimes I find myself saying or doing something that I know is wrong, even in the moment. I may even hear that voice in my head screaming "Cut it out, you moron!" And yet I keep at it. I can be petty, selfish, vindictive, and just plain mean, all the while knowing full well that I am making a mistake. I hate that about myself, more than anything else. Yes, I may be angry at the person or situation that provoked my behavior, but because I am ultimately responsible for my behavior, I am most disgusted with myself. Afterwards, I feel bad, I want to take it back or do something to make it better, but that's not possible. Only time might heal those wounds. I pray that it will.

It's times like these that I can most sympathize with the Apostle Paul. Granted, I disagree with Paul on many different matters, but I think he nailed the tedious and frustrating failings of humanity. Romans 7:15-20 describes exactly what I mean:

15I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do. 16And if I do what I do not want to do, I agree that the law is good. 17As it is, it is no longer I myself who do it, but it is sin living in me. 18I know that nothing good lives in me, that is, in my sinful nature. For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out. 19For what I do is not the good I want to do; no, the evil I do not want to do—this I keep on doing. 20Now if I do what I do not want to do, it is no longer I who do it, but it is sin living in me that does it.
Nothing in the Bible more aptly describes how I feel at such times. It gives me a minuscule but notable amount of comfort to know that I am not alone in this internal struggle. Nevertheless, I hate the sin I do. I know it is wrong, and I do it anyway. I am ashamed. I am sorrowful. I am human. I spend every day of my working life helping people better understand the nature of the mistakes they make in their own lives, in an effort to avoid those mistakes and improve their lives. Yet, I commit some of the same mistakes. It's not that I don't know a better way. I can't plead ignorance. Rather, I am simply stubborn, belligerent, and sinful. I say and do these despicable things because I allow my humanity to overtake me, neglecting and rejecting the spiritual heights to which God has raised me through Grace. I hurt others, knowing full well what I am doing, and by the time my better judgment wins out, I've sinned against God and those I love, and the damage is done. Lord, forgive me my sins, and grant me the patience and wisdom to turn to You when my humanity becomes more than I can bear.