A Child's Mind is Like a Salvador Dali Painting

Although they certain have their special attributes, I don't think my children are unique in one particular regard. I'm sure that many other parents think their children do the oddest, cutest, most random things. But good grief, if other kids do this much of it, how would parents get anything done. All they would want to do is watch and pay with their kids. Again, I don't think my kids are terribly unique in this regard, but living with them gives me an inside look at kids that I never would have gotten anywhere else.

For example, I am constantly amazed at Aidan's drive and determined attitude when he is creating one of legendary "projects". We were at my grandparent's house today. Aidan took the garden hose and tied it to a tree. He then took the other end and tied it to another tree. My grandmother helped him bring out a couple of bar stools, which he claims provided the "glue" of the project. Throw in a patio table and a blanket, and he had some contraption that he claimed allowed trees to be shared between people. I have no idea what he was talking about, but I was struck by the determination with which he created his project. It was hard work wrapping that garden hose around the trees, and he put everything into it. I love watching his indoor creations even more. He will use couch cushions, dining room chairs, and any other structure he can. One significant feature of the indoor "projects", however, is that they are almost always symmetrical. I don't know why, but Aidan insists on them being perfectly symmetrical, meaning that if there is a chair on one side, there MUST be a chair on the other side. I don't think he knows why. He just knows that's the way it should be.

I am quickly learning that Regan is not all that different in her quirkiness, although she doesn't have the same engineering flare. I hate to say it, but Regan carries a more stereotypically feminine aspect into her oddities. For instance, she has these mock high heal shoes that her Auntie Ro gave her for Christmas. Although they are way too big for her (perhaps made for a 5 or 6 year-old), she has learned how to walk in them very well and insists on doing so as often as possible. She loves to dance. She's got moves that most 2-year-olds simply dream of. She even matches her dance to the style of music. More than that, she loves dressing up, talking on her "cell phone", wearing sunglasses, pushing her dolls around in strollers, and shopping. I mean, come on-- SHOPPING! How did that happen? Where did that come from? And what confuses me even more is that I find it cute. It is freaking adorable. But that's not all that fascinates me about Regan. She is fascinated with books. She will sit in her room and "read" for a long time. She loves all kinds of books. She will read to us, but of course she loves it much more when we read to her. But her love of books actually borders on an obsession. They are sacred. They contain special meaning for her. Again I ask, where did this come from? Sure, we've read to her most of her life, but that's not nearly enough to explain her obsession. Shoes and books: Regan's two loves. Neither Kari nor I actively encouraged this, but here we are.

I need to post a better picture of one of Aidan's projects; they truly are artworks in their own right. I also need to post some video of Regan's dancing; it is very entertaining and impressive. So I continue to be fascinated with the growing minds of my children. They are really challenging my presumptions about child development, the nature/nurture debate, and my own ideas about identity and the emergent mind. Although I began my life as a parent expecting to teach my children, but of course I have found that they teach me more than I ever dreamed. Their minds and lives are free and unencumbered by the necessities of life, so they are free to simply be. What a bizarre notion.

Note: Click here for a new photo album of the kids that I uploaded today.

It Is Finished

This morning I successfully defended my dissertation, and I now hold a Ph.D. in Family and Child Ecology with an emphasis in Marriage and Family Therapy from Michigan State University.

Thank God THAT'S over.

This has been the most trying, exhausting, frustrating experience, but it now feels very fulfilling, and I'm sure it will feel even more so as I reclaim my life. I didn't accomplish this alone, though. Many people helped. I'll post my acknowledgements soon, but right now, I want to write about the defense experience.

I was extremely nervous. I have a tough committee, and they can be very picky and critical. They certainly were so today, but their criticism was nothing I can't handle. I didn't begin very well, though. I was 5 minutes late because I had problems printing and copying my handouts. I didn't mean to wait until the morning of the defense to print it, but that's what happened. The copiers in the Union were acting up, as I should have guessed they would. I walked in, began to apologize, and then set up my presentation. I started going through the research questions and my results to warm us all up. They didn't need much warming, however, as the questions quickly began to flow. They primarily asked questions about my conclusions and implications, wanting more information or explanation of statements. They wanted me to discuss the recruitment methods that were miserable failures, in addition to those that worked. They told me about ways to highlight the study's significant and extrapolate meaning from role of the study in the pantheon of fathering research and therapy research. All in all, their comments and criticisms were very helpful and appropriate, but I kept waiting for the floor to fall out from under me. I just knew that any minute one of them would bring up the dealbreaker, the issue that would prevent me from returning to Texas with a Ph.D. in hand.

That issue never came up. After our discussion, I was sent out of the room for them to deliberate. After 5 minutes or so (what I thought to be a remarkably short amount of time), Dr. Carolan came out and said, "We're ready for you, Dr. Martin." At that moment, I was informed that they had passed me and granted my degree. Needless to say, I was elated. I then sat down with Dr. Carolan and went over the various revisions that I am to do. Basically, I have to complete the revisions this weekend (I can probably finish it all tomorrow), call Dr. Carolan and talk her through them, and turn the completed dissertation into the MSU Graduate School. All of the forms are signed; they simply need to be turned in on Monday.

When they are all turned in, I will officially be done, but I have the degree now. I have relaxed and run errands today. Tomorrow, I finish the work, but as far as I'm concerned, it is finished.

Judgement Day

At 10AM on this Friday, January 19, 2007, I could use a lot of prayers, good vibes, good mojo, or whatever you can send my way. I will be defending my dissertation, which will be the culmination of the last year and a half, not to mention the last four and a half years of doctoral education and the last 11 and a half years of higher education. Needless to say, I'm ready for it to be over. I have a good job now that I really enjoy, and I really want to dive into it more, but this thing still hanging over me is a nuisance.

Of course, I already "graduated", back when I thought the dissertation would be finished last summer. But now it will be for real. I can finally and officially move on with my life after this weekend. It will be a great feeling.