My Affectionate Little Girl

Kari and I are very proud that Aidan and Regan have such a great relationship. Even though they are still young and things can (and likely will) change, they are unquestionably each others' best friend. They play well together most of the time. They turn to each other first when looking for a playmate, even around other kids. They are fearful when they think the other is in danger. They even defend each other when one gets in trouble with Kari or me. They have the closest relationship I could hope for.

Sometimes, however, it seems a little too close, like when they would rather cuddle up with each other than Kari and I. Or when I can't find Aidan when I wake up, and I find that he's snuck into Regan's room to sleep with her. I know they aren't doing anything inappropriate. It just seems a little too intimate for my tastes. Lately, Kari and I have been intentionally trying to teach them more appropriate ways to show their affection for each other, and it had been working. At least I thought it had.

Regan's 3rd birthday party was yesterday. She had a Barbie Princess-themed party and she invited a couple of her friends. Although we didn't really know her friends from school before the party, we had heard a few names numerous times. Elliott is one such name. So when it came time to invite kids to her party, he was a no-brainer. Little did we know, however, the depth of their relationship, at least on Regan's part.

From the moment he walked in the door, Regan was leading him by his hand, putting her hand on his back, talking enthusiastically to him, and even kissing him on the cheek. This wasn't just momentary behavior. It continued through most of the party. Although I never saw him return the affection, Elliott seemed to take it all in stride, politely enduring her advances. I eventually had to pull her aside and tell her to knock it off (in so many words).

She was exactly like a giddy 15-year-old whose new boyfriend had just showed up, and Elliott was the aloof boyfriend who didn't even know what she was up to. I couldn't help but think about the times she hugs her brother so tight that he gets annoyed or when she comes up to me and kisses me, saying "I wuv my diddy!" I always thought it was behavior she reserved for just us, but that was nothing compared to the affection she showed Elliott. At first it was cute, but then I began to get flashes of what I can likely expect in her teen year.

This girl is going to give me a heart attack, and heaven help the boy who's lucky enough to get her.

I'm Done!!!

I can't believe that it is over. After long last, I have finally finished all of my hours for full licensure. I sent my paperwork off to the State today, and I now have my Full License, meaning that I am no longer in residency and are now longer required to work under a supervisor. This allows me to officially get the promotion and raise that was approved at work, contingent upon the full license, and I can also begin to branch out and have more freedom in terms of teaching and taking clients. It also puts me on more insurance boards, meaning that I can take a MUCH wider range of insurance providers.

This essentially is what I feel has been holding me back professionally. I finally feel that the shackles have been removed, and I'm completely autonomous and legit. It feels very good.

My obsession

I have become obsessed as of late. I can hardly think of anything else. I can hardly type this blog post without thinking about ways to fulfill my deepest obsessions. I don't know what to do. I bother Kari with talk of my obsession constantly. She is distraught; she feels that I have neglected her and the kids to maintain my obsession. Perhaps I have. I'm sure I have...

But I don't know what else to do. I am tormented. Watch this video to understand what I mean.

Aidan's Winter Program

I just posted a new video on The Martin Family Podcast showing Aidan's Winter Program at the Montessori School of Downtown. Thanks to dad (Kim Martin) for videotaping the program, and thanks to mom (Mary Lou) for the above picture. If you haven't seen my podcast, it's primarily short videos of the kids that I make with iMovie 06. If you like my kids, you should love it.

You can view the podcast at the following locations:

1. iTunes (subscribe to the podcast here too)
   
2. YouTube
3. Download directly

(iTunes and/or Quicktime required for numbers 1 and 3.)

My Humanity, My Frustration, My Sin

Sometimes I absolutely hate the fallacies of the human species. I am not referring the stupid things that other people do that irritate us, nor am I referring only to the big things that others do that hurt us or cause us great distress or sorrow. I am referring to the things that I myself do that I despise. Sometimes I find myself saying or doing something that I know is wrong, even in the moment. I may even hear that voice in my head screaming "Cut it out, you moron!" And yet I keep at it. I can be petty, selfish, vindictive, and just plain mean, all the while knowing full well that I am making a mistake. I hate that about myself, more than anything else. Yes, I may be angry at the person or situation that provoked my behavior, but because I am ultimately responsible for my behavior, I am most disgusted with myself. Afterwards, I feel bad, I want to take it back or do something to make it better, but that's not possible. Only time might heal those wounds. I pray that it will.

It's times like these that I can most sympathize with the Apostle Paul. Granted, I disagree with Paul on many different matters, but I think he nailed the tedious and frustrating failings of humanity. Romans 7:15-20 describes exactly what I mean:

15I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do. 16And if I do what I do not want to do, I agree that the law is good. 17As it is, it is no longer I myself who do it, but it is sin living in me. 18I know that nothing good lives in me, that is, in my sinful nature. For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out. 19For what I do is not the good I want to do; no, the evil I do not want to do—this I keep on doing. 20Now if I do what I do not want to do, it is no longer I who do it, but it is sin living in me that does it.

Nothing in the Bible more aptly describes how I feel at such times. It gives me a minuscule but notable amount of comfort to know that I am not alone in this internal struggle. Nevertheless, I hate the sin I do. I know it is wrong, and I do it anyway. I am ashamed. I am sorrowful. I am human. I spend every day of my working life helping people better understand the nature of the mistakes they make in their own lives, in an effort to avoid those mistakes and improve their lives. Yet, I commit some of the same mistakes. It's not that I don't know a better way. I can't plead ignorance. Rather, I am simply stubborn, belligerent, and sinful. I say and do these despicable things because I allow my humanity to overtake me, neglecting and rejecting the spiritual heights to which God has raised me through Grace. I hurt others, knowing full well what I am doing, and by the time my better judgment wins out, I've sinned against God and those I love, and the damage is done. Lord, forgive me my sins, and grant me the patience and wisdom to turn to You when my humanity becomes more than I can bear.

Currently Listening: Caribou and The Bird and the Bee

Okay, when did indie music return to the late 1960s? I recently stumbled across a couple of artists that I had never heard of, but I have really grown attached to. The first, Caribou, I found while perusing emusic.com's music library. Caribou's new album, Andorra, has been doing very well on the emusic.com indie charts. I decided to give it a listen, and I was very surprised by what I heard. The opening track reminds me very much of the flower child music of the 60s, something like The Mamas and the Papas, with it's mellow harmonies and winsome instrumentals, yet driving progression as if its floating with a definite but unknown purpose. It really seems like it should be on the soundtrack of a hippy documentary about the 1960. But it doesn't stop there. The rest of the album takes that theme and expands on it, bringing it into the 21st Century indie pop, influsing electronic sensibilities and pop melodies with 1960's feeling. Tack on some evolving prog rock near the end of the album, especially with the subtly powerful "Niobe", and you have a really solid album from a guy I had never heard of but will follow in years to come. Favorite Tracks: Melody Day, Irene, Niobe

Additionally, I came across The Bird and the Bee while perusing iTunes list of songs featured in TV ads. Apparently, their song "La La La" is or will be featured in the commercial for the iPod Touch, which is essentially the iPhone without the phone. The song sounded interesting, so I looked further into their music, and I was blown away. It too evokes thoughts of 1960s flower child music, but they are much more overt in their electronic roots. The female lead singer, however, covers the highly suggestive lyrics with a pixiesque melodic intonation. I've read more than a few reviews of the band that compares them to groups like Air, The Beach Boys, and even Burt Bacharach. Infact, iTunes' description of their self-titled debut album referrs to the album as "the Beach Boys' Pet Sounds if Burt Bacharach had snuck into the control room". I completely agree, but it still comes out sounding very good. It's not deep; it's not meant to be anything other than fun, and I get it. I also bought their more recent Please Clap Your Hands EP, which doesn't have the same flair, but does contain two really good songs nonetheless, "Polite Dance Song" and "Man". Again, I don't think it's for everyone, but if light-hearted, dancable, electro-pop is your thing, you'll probably like it. Favorite Tracks: Again & Again, My Fair Lady, Polite Dance Song

On a side note, I recently came across a couple of remixes from the The Shins' album, Wincing the Night Away. That's right Shins remixes. Boggles the mind, doesn't it? Anyway, my absolute favorite is a remix of "Sea Legs", which is one of my favorite songs off the new album. I have to say that I might actually like the remix more than the original, and that's saying a lot. It is downright awesome. Give it a listen:

The Shins - 'Sea Legs (Knux Remix)' (mp3)

The Hoff in "Jump in my Car"

For all you Hoff fans out there. Don't ask how I came across this. It starts out cheesey, but then gets hilARiously! Seriously, I can't get enough.